Dad Shames Daughter on Facebook For Stealing-The Damaging Consequences Of Psychological Abuse
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“Psychological abuse isn't considered a serious social taboo like physical and sexual child abuse. Parents can’t hit their kids, but they can yell at them. They can insult them and they can dismiss them with a sharp tongue. But where we draw the line between firm parenting tactics and abuse remains blurry”-Dr. Joseph Spinazzola, of the Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute.
Physical and sexual abuse is noticeable, so they get mainstream attention. Psychological abuse is covert, residing only in the mind, where trauma accumulates over time like an overstuffed closet, until one day it bursts.
Some parents who are emotionally abusive parents practice forms of child-rearing that are orientated towards fulfilling their own needs and goals, rather than those of their children. Their parenting style may be characterized by overt aggression towards their children, including shouting and intimidation, or they may manipulate their children using more subtle means, such as emotional blackmail.
Psychological abuse from a parent or caregiver has been recognized as the most challenging and prevalent form of abuse,( Reuters). Sexual torture and physical violence aren’t the only forms of abuse that leave children with lifelong scars.
Yes, every parent has absolute right to discipline their child but not to the extent of damaging that child psychologically or emotionally.
So many of us grew up in homes where it is “normal” for our parents/caregiver to use harsh and demeaning words as a strategy to enforce discipline and discourage repetition of undesirable behaviour in the future.
Did this Indiana father go too far in punishing his daughter?
The sign read, "My name is Abby Mills & I am a LIAR & a THEIF [sic]! I’ve stolen from my parents, brothers & sister. Aunts & uncles. I even stole my 9-yr-old cousin’s Christmas presents.”
In one of the videos that have gone viral, the dad can be heard asking people to share it "so everybody in the world will know my daughter's a thief and I'm sick and tired of it."
Mills also took aim at authorities, claiming they don't do enough for teenagers who commit crimes.
Is this the best form of discipline appropriate for a teenager? Or this is nothing shot of psychological abuse? What exactly is psychologically child abuse and its effects on a child?
“Psychological abuse isn't considered a serious social taboo like physical and sexual child abuse. Parents can’t hit their kids, but they can yell at them. They can insult them and they can dismiss them with a sharp tongue. But where we draw the line between firm parenting tactics and abuse remains blurry”-Dr. Joseph Spinazzola, of the Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute.
Physical and sexual abuse is noticeable, so they get mainstream attention. Psychological abuse is covert, residing only in the mind, where trauma accumulates over time like an overstuffed closet, until one day it bursts.
Some parents who are emotionally abusive parents practice forms of child-rearing that are orientated towards fulfilling their own needs and goals, rather than those of their children. Their parenting style may be characterized by overt aggression towards their children, including shouting and intimidation, or they may manipulate their children using more subtle means, such as emotional blackmail.
Psychological abuse from a parent or caregiver has been recognized as the most challenging and prevalent form of abuse,( Reuters). Sexual torture and physical violence aren’t the only forms of abuse that leave children with lifelong scars.
Yes, every parent has absolute right to discipline their child but not to the extent of damaging that child psychologically or emotionally.
So many of us grew up in homes where it is “normal” for our parents/caregiver to use harsh and demeaning words as a strategy to enforce discipline and discourage repetition of undesirable behaviour in the future.
Did this Indiana father go too far in punishing his daughter?
Dad Shames Daughter on Camera, Forces Her to Wear Sign Announcing She's a 'Thief'
Gary Mills shared videos of his teenage daughter on Facebook that show her wearing a cardboard sign that announces she's a thief.
The sign read, "My name is Abby Mills & I am a LIAR & a THEIF [sic]! I’ve stolen from my parents, brothers & sister. Aunts & uncles. I even stole my 9-yr-old cousin’s Christmas presents.”In one of the videos that have gone viral, the dad can be heard asking people to share it "so everybody in the world will know my daughter's a thief and I'm sick and tired of it."
Mills also took aim at authorities, claiming they don't do enough for teenagers who commit crimes.
Is this the best form of discipline appropriate for a teenager? Or this is nothing shot of psychological abuse? What exactly is psychologically child abuse and its effects on a child?
Meaning Of Psychological/ Emotional abuse
Emotional abuse refers to the psychological and social aspects of child abuse that involves continued scapegoating and rejection of a child by his or her caregivers that is inflicted by ignoring or dismissing a child’s emotional reaction or by shaming and humiliating a child. This is the most common form of child abuse. Many parents are emotionally abusive without being violent or sexually abusive.Types of Emotional abuse
Verbal: Emotional abuse may be verbal, in the form of derogatory words or hurtful names, or putting a child down by comparison with a sibling or friend.
Nonverbal:
Where Can Emotional abuse Occur?
- In the home: emotional abuse occurs does not only occur in the home
- By teachers: Children can be emotionally abused by teachers
- Other adults: in a position of power over the child
- By other children: Children can also be emotionally abused by other children in the form of "bullying".
- Schools:Chronic emotional abuse in schools is a serious cause of harm to victimized children and warrants ongoing active intervention.
- Constant belittling, shaming, and humiliating a child.
- Calling names and making negative comparisons to others.
- Telling a child he or she is “no good," "worthless," "bad," or "a mistake.""You'll never amount to anything! You're worthless!": "You're nothing but trouble! I wish you were never born!"; "Why can't you be more like your (sister/brother/a neighbor's child)?"
- Frequent yelling, threatening, or bullying.
- Ignoring or rejecting a child as punishment, giving him or her the silent treatment.
- Limited physical contact with the child—no hugs, kisses, or other signs of affection.
- Exposing the child to violence or the abuse of others, whether it be the abuse of a parent, a sibling, or even a pet(Help guide.org).
- Indifference: to the child's needs or temperament, which may be different from his or her siblings
- Humiliation: when the child fails at a task or misunderstands instructions.
- Denigration: negative description of something the child achieves or expresses interest in.
- Neglect: failing to provide essential emotional support or recognition of the child's needs.
- Unrelenting pressure: to serve parental expectations, often accompanied by negative comparisons of the child to others who "follow the program."
Any of the forms of psychological abuse may be fueled by the parent's own self-hatred, jealousy, narcissism or other pathology. Some illustrations:
- A child runs to the parent, saying, "Look at my new drawing!" or "See what I did for this school project!" and receives a curt, dismissive, "Don't bother me now. I'm working on something important." Failure to take a brief moment's interruption for the child, will have negative emotional impact, and can accumulate.
- A parent consistently and vocally praises one child, while ignoring or criticizing the child's sibling; For example "Wow, what you did is amazing! You are so talented!" But to the child's sibling, regarding something similar, perhaps a flat "That's nice." Sometimes the parent gives both responses in the presence of the both siblings. An observer could see the crestfallen expression in the face of the second child.
- A parent who never complements the child and it stays alive; such as in the memory of a grown man who vividly recalls that when he proudly dressed up for his school prom as a teenager, he received a look-over from one of his parents, who offered just one comment: "Your pants cuffs are too short."
All forms of psychological abuse damage the child's sense of him/herself, as well as the subsequent adult that emerges from it.
A new study by Dr. Joseph Spinazzola finds psychological abuse can leave the same impressions, if not deeper ones, because of the inherent difficulties that come with treating invisible wounds.
Kids that come to their doctors with bruises and complaints of aggressive touching have a far easier time getting help than kids who may seem withdrawn or tend to cry more often. Even on a macro scale, it’s easy to understand why.
Psychological abuse has a very long shelf life, as the APA report confirms. It found that:
"Children who are emotionally abused and neglected face similar and sometimes worse mental health problems as children who are physically or sexually abused, yet psychological abuse is rarely addressed in prevention programs or in treating victims."
- anxiety
- depression
- low self-esteem
- · symptoms of post-traumatic stress
- suicidality at the same rate and, in some cases, at a greater rate than children who were physically or sexually abused.
- Psychological abuse was most strongly associated with depression, general anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, attachment problems and substance abuse.
Signs of Hope
The presence of a loving, parental figure can provide protection to the abused child. Research well recognized that providing children in adverse circumstances with a nurturing relationship is beneficial for their overall well being.The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal and break the cycle.For management and support for an abused child:
Request Help Through E-Mail:
BBM: 73D50E8
References:
www.ASCA .org
Psychology Today
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